After completing the first exercise of Loving Kindness, I felt a sense of relief, but also a sense of sadness. I came to the realization that I have a few underlying issues, one which is very upsetting, that I need to get to the bottom of and perhaps even try to fix. It made me think of my step-mother, who passed away last March of Ovarian cancer, and it made me miss her even more. Before she passed though, we had just mended our relationship and I am so grateful for that. But now, for very unfortunate reasons, my mother and I are at a fork in the road, where we see our relationship dissipating, which is completely saddening to me. This exercise made me think of her too because I want nothing but the best for her, but over the past couple of months, I have felt otherwise and I feel horrible for feeling that way. I am hoping that we can fix whatever is "broken" in our relationship, so we can go on living happy, healthy lives with each other in our lives.
The Integral assessment showed me how I really need to work on my worldly flourishing. I am already quite physical and I make sure to eat right and am aware of my mind and my body. But it has come to my attention that I am lacking in the worldly section. I think with my daughter in school, I could participate or even volunteer some of my free time to helping her out at school or just helping her school out. I was also reminded how well I am doing with my part in helping out the environment. I am a firm believer about recycling and reusing, and I make sure to teach the same to my children. I just need to work on taking an active part of my community. Overall, I feel my integral assessment is up to par, besides the few things I need to work on.
Thanks for reading!
Kristin Croake
Kristin,
ReplyDeleteI haveto agree with you. I also loved this exercise and felt an even deeper connection than that first time we completed it. But I too felt a sense of sadness and loneliness while completing this exercise. My dad also passed away about 2 years ago and we were able to mend our relationship before he passed as well, but the grief and missing him was almost overwhelming when I thought about him possibly suffering as he died. This was a very emotional exercise, yet I felt an even greater sense of peace, of strength, of gratitude, and of forgiveness in the end. However, I too, learned that I have a long way to go in my search for integral health!
Great post!
Post by Kris Sinclair
DeleteI am having trouble with find a sense of relief. I am not sure what I am doing wrong with these exercises? I did ok with the first exercise we ever did, but I did not get full relaxation, and the others we have done, no relaxation at all. Well I am glad to see you are getting relief, great post! Jean St.John
ReplyDeleteHi Kristin,
ReplyDeleteI hope you and your mom can mend whatever needs mending. You are so lucky to still have a mom. My mom died when I was only 20 years old. I did not realize just how much I miss her. I may not like all the things she did and I may not agree with how she handled things, but I have to believe that she did the best she could at the time. Keep practicing meditation. I think this exercise was good. I am finding it easier to relax.
Donna